A Mother on the Challenges of Becoming a Teenage Parent
April Gibson und ihr jugendlicher Sohn Gregory Bess lieben es, miteinander zu reden. Gregory sagt, dass sie sich stundenlang unterhalten können und dass er das Gefühl hat, von seiner Mutter mehr zu lernen als in der Schule. Aber es gab ein Thema, das sie noch nicht wirklich erforscht hatten.
Als das StoryCorps MobileBooth kürzlich nach St. Paul, Minnesota, reiste, lud April ihren Sohn ein, sich mit ihr zusammenzusetzen und ein Gespräch aufzuzeichnen.
Gregory erkundigte sich nach der Kindheit seiner Mutter und der Vergangenheit der Familie. Er erfuhr, dass seine Mutter ein ruhiges Kind war, das gerne schrieb, und dass sein Großvater ein Party-DJ war, bevor er Pastor wurde.
Doch April wusste, dass ihr 16-Jähriger noch über ein anderes Thema mit ihr sprechen wollte.
AG: Now you can ask me the hard question.
GB: What did you feel like when I was born?
AG: When you were born, um, I actually didn’t feel anything. I was sixteen and I was a kid. I didn’t know what I was doing. So when I took you home, I didn’t know how to feel. I made a bad choice according to everybody. I was ’just like all the rest of them.’ I don’t know what ’the rest of them’ means, but I know what it felt like. Like I didn’t deserve to feel the way women who do the right things do. Because why would you celebrate someone making such a poor choice? So I didn’t know what to feel. So I felt nothing. And I just took care of you — I did what I was supposed to do. Until one day, I realized that I couldn’t believe what people told me about myself or about ’those people’ like me. This is my baby and I love him and I can feel something. It’s not a fairytale, it’s not a failure. It’s just a process and now we’re here, 16 years later.
GB: What are your dreams for me?
AG: My dream for you, Gregory, is that you become a good person. And not a nice person. That’s not a deep quality to me. Niceness is mediocrity. I want you to not be afraid to be afraid. But mostly, I want you to be better than me.
GB: When I was little I was always looking for someone to look up to, but it’s always been right in front of me. You’re just the greatest person that I ever know. And I just want to be like you.
Produced By Liyna Anwar
Facilitated By Chelsea Aguilera
Music “SUNKEN EYES” BY WEINLAND FROM THE ALBUM BREAKS IN THE SUN INSTRUMENTALS
Originally aired January 19, 2018, on NPR’s Morning Edition.
